Selective Willpower?

Believe it or not, I had no trouble refraining from eating any of my daughter's french fries today at Micky D's. Truly. I didn't even have to implement the 4 bites rule, though I was prepared to. And I didn't even mind having the Southwestern Salad with grilled chicken--sans dressing and tortilla chips [while my hubby had a burger and patted himself on the back for not super-sizing the fries!] I didn't even eat all of my meal and I was satiated. Of course, I had plenty of Diet Dr. Pepper to help wash it all down.

Unlike my esteemed friend Chris Fabry [do yourself a favor and check out his blog - http://chrisfabry.blogspot.com - THIS is a man who has something to say!], I haven't kicked the "soda habit" - nor do I pretend to have the strength or desire to do so.

Heck, if it wasn't for my cholesterol #'s, I wouldn't have the desire to be making the changes I'm making now! But it's a powerful motivator - hoping to stay healthy so you can be around to watch your kid grow up. And wanting to establish some better eating habits to instill in her, for her own good, as well. I know, I know - McDonald's french fries for her, not really a great start. But it is an occasional indulgence. Like bread and pasta will now be for me.

You know, since all of this started (the THINKING about every morsel that is going into my body) - I haven't had one bite of chocolate. No ice cream. No cookies. The day I came home from the Dr., I actually had no appetite, even after over 14 hours of fasting. So I 'forced' myself to eat some leftover peach cobbler. I think that was my last bite of 'sweets' in almost a week. I'm not missing them. And, again, I'm prepared with my 4 bites plan should a dessert craving overtake me.

But the bread...the pasta...the toast...the crackers... They're calling to me! In my way at every step. And they even seem to be a necessity - not just my justification, here:  Need to eat fish--gotta have crackers for my tuna. [no, lettuce will not cut it.]  Need to eat a hearty breakfast--gotta have toast for my egg white omelet. A turkey burger for lunch - no problem...just let me have one slice of whole wheat bread, and I'm good.

Seriously - set a steaming porterhouse steak in front of me or a warm loaf of crusty bread - and the bread wins, every time. And somehow I think I'd figure out a way to make those the 4 biggest bites I could possibly take. [Though I've been holding the standard to "average bites"...not "Manny-sized bites"! ; ) ]  I've actually thought about it--and if I had to request a last meal, I believe it would be bread and pasta. [okay, and probably some chocolate, too!]

So, what's a girl to do? I've purposed to make significant dietary changes--and not set myself up for failure. I have good motivation and determination to create new life habits...but I feel my resolve wavering when it comes to my starchy favorites. And it doesn't help any that those are the two items my doc specifically named as no-no's for me! [gotta find a way around that absolute...] 

For now, I'm trying to have only whole grain bread products whose labels also tout all the the right heart-healthy stuff (all the good and none of the bad). And I bought some crazy looking pasta, too (gotta be okay if it bears the American Heart Association's stamp of approval, right??), though history tells me I'm not gonna love it. (I just don't think pasta was meant to be healthy, whole grain.)  And I'm trying to use these in moderation--not always defaulting to the quick and easy pasta dinner or grilled sandwich, or 2-3 pieces of toast for breakfast. I'll even use the 4 bites rule in this area maybe when it comes to things like dinner rolls or crackers, no matter if they are whole grain. And I'll run it by my doc when they call to give me the results of their tests later this week.

But don't ask me [or TELL me] to give them up altogether. I admit I just don't have the willpower for that. At least not yet. And I think I already have enough on my plate...or rather OFF my plate...for now.